#7: Everything is as it should be.

What I learned today #7.

Everything is as it should be.

How did this come up?

In her book, “Make Every Man Want You,” Marie Forleo says that women who live in the now are irresistible. These woman approach every aspect of life with enthusiasm. They are expressive when they interact with other people, and they interact with every person they come across—single or not, male or not. Marie says one way to live in the now is to adopt the attitude that everything is as it should be. Is irresistibility really that simple?

What did I find out?

There could not be a more perfect adage for this post-divorce stage of my life. I am all about moving on and moving up and creating the best life for me and my son, but I have a lot of history, and some times—like when a gem of an email pops up from my ex-husband in the middle of my work day—I’m still triggered into reliving it.

Used to be I’d have to spend a few hours listening to guided imagery, watching an episode of Joel Osteen, and venting to my mother in order to calm down. But now I’m just like, “Girl—chill. Everything is as it should be.” And in the space of maybe thirty seconds, the tension melts and my heart beat slows, my insecurity is replaced by confidence, and I remember why I’m in love with my life.

I’ve had many opportunities to test this saying over the last few days and it hasn't let me down once. My ex-boyfriend popped into my life only to run—quite literally—back out of it less than 2 hours later. Did I feel rejected? No, thank you—everything is as it should be. My corporate job isn’t doing it for me anymore but with a son depending on me, I'm not quite sure when or for what to leave. Do I feel stuck? Only until I remind myself that everything is as it should be. The new apartment building going up across the street is going to completely block my view of the city. Should I move? Maybe, but without a side of resentment. Everything is as it should be.

So… is everything really as it should be? Who knows, but that’s not the point. The lessons are about acceptance and trust. When I say everything is as it should be I mean that I accept the current state of my life and I trust myself to be okay. It doesn’t mean I’m resigned to keeping things around that are better placed behind me, it just means that I trust myself to move forward no matter what’s going on around me. So yeah, maybe everything is always as it should be.

What else did I accidentally learn along the way?

Christian Carter—definitely not his real name—deserves props for featuring smart, strong women as guests on his programs. I learned about Dr. Ava Cadell from Communication Secrets and Marie Forleo from Natural Attraction. If these women have any influence over me, I’ll both have access to any man I want and know how to enjoy sex with him.

Every self-help guru has a story about what worked for him or her and its helpful to read what they have to say. In my experience, though, it’s not one particular guru’s advice over any others that finally makes the difference. It reading enough of them to be able to put each one in perspective, and take what works, and leave behind what doesn’t.

What were my sources?

Marie Forleo: https://www.marieforleo.com/memwy/

Christian Carter: http://www.catchhimandkeephim.com

Dr. Ava Cadell: https://www.avacadell.com